dreams
House and Home
07/04/08 23:05
We need a place to call home, a place that's ours, a place to love. We put Stafford House on the market 20 months ago. We lost the house we really wanted to buy and have viewed 24 other properties. We have been hanging on waiting for the Dream House to go through probate and goodness knows what else. We adore this house, it's location and it's grandness. It doesn't fulfill why we put our house on the market all those months ago though. Our aim was to have a simpler life, with land and animals, a sanctuary away from work and routine. This house gives us all that. It doesn't give us room space (though it has plenty of them!), it doesn't give us the ease to town and work we have grown to love here. It is much cheaper than Audrey's despite needing work (we'd convert the garage into the lounge), as Audrey's needs about 250K on it (which will take years to afford). We try and listen to our heart and it wants both so we try to listen to our head and it wants both. We're seeing the solicitor on Thursday to sort out our wills, maybe fate will step in then. We don't want to make the wrong decision.
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I Could Have Danced All Night
15/02/08 22:20
Well she'll dance the week away.
Today starts the Eastbourne Festival of Music and Dance. Boo adores this time of year. She loves to get up on stage and show the world (well about 100 people) what she can do. I'm torn between common sense and pride LOL! I also spend about 2 weeks feeling stressed for her and worrying her tutu isn't good enough.
Last year she came second in her group. This year she has had much less practise due to our holiday in America and then the funeral so I'm worried for her. Being placed for Boo is VERY important. She struggles with the 'it's all about taking part' bit. I;m just so proud of her for wanting to try never mind getting up there and doing it!
So this week she has danced, cried, screamed, stood still as I've pinned and stitched and talked herself through her steps. She won't practise if we can see. Her teacher thinks she has done an amazing job of getting herself ready. I think she could be mind blowing if she practised more! I never push her though, it has to come from her.
Tomorrow she has two dances. Ballet in the morning and modern in the afternoon. She will then repeat them through the week for other sections of the festival. The during the week one is the more important one.
My home is a tip, covered in bits of material and thread, the ironing board has been in my room for a week and meals have been sporadic. Would I stop her and have our life back. No.
Good luck Boo!
Today starts the Eastbourne Festival of Music and Dance. Boo adores this time of year. She loves to get up on stage and show the world (well about 100 people) what she can do. I'm torn between common sense and pride LOL! I also spend about 2 weeks feeling stressed for her and worrying her tutu isn't good enough.
Last year she came second in her group. This year she has had much less practise due to our holiday in America and then the funeral so I'm worried for her. Being placed for Boo is VERY important. She struggles with the 'it's all about taking part' bit. I;m just so proud of her for wanting to try never mind getting up there and doing it!
So this week she has danced, cried, screamed, stood still as I've pinned and stitched and talked herself through her steps. She won't practise if we can see. Her teacher thinks she has done an amazing job of getting herself ready. I think she could be mind blowing if she practised more! I never push her though, it has to come from her.
Tomorrow she has two dances. Ballet in the morning and modern in the afternoon. She will then repeat them through the week for other sections of the festival. The during the week one is the more important one.
My home is a tip, covered in bits of material and thread, the ironing board has been in my room for a week and meals have been sporadic. Would I stop her and have our life back. No.
Good luck Boo!
16
14/11/07 12:39
16 years ago today Tony and I had our first date. We'd met at college about 2 weeks into the term and become very good friends. The second I saw him I knew he was the one. I was standing outside the college waiting for a friend and he turned around, it was like being hit! I didn't know him so made it my mission to find out a way to get to know him! About 6 weeks later we went on our first date.
We met at Brighton station, it was freezing, really freezing. We went for dinner at Deep Pan Pizza and then we walked to the pier where we stood in the cold wind and watched the crashing waves. Our first kiss soon followed and we stood there oblivious to the world. I will remember that kiss forever.
We then went to the cinema to see a film I can't remember the title off! I think it was Dead Again. We saw less than half of it
Parting again at the station was horrible.
Somehow through some very very tough times we are still here, still together. My love for him has been tested and proved many times, we argue lots, we are an amazing team, we have a great life that we have slogged our arses off to get!, three perfect children and a whole future to dream about and live.
I still look at him and feel like that 17 year old girl I was. I have changed so much and not just how I look but he still makes me feel young, excited and very much in love.
We met at Brighton station, it was freezing, really freezing. We went for dinner at Deep Pan Pizza and then we walked to the pier where we stood in the cold wind and watched the crashing waves. Our first kiss soon followed and we stood there oblivious to the world. I will remember that kiss forever.
We then went to the cinema to see a film I can't remember the title off! I think it was Dead Again. We saw less than half of it
Parting again at the station was horrible.
Somehow through some very very tough times we are still here, still together. My love for him has been tested and proved many times, we argue lots, we are an amazing team, we have a great life that we have slogged our arses off to get!, three perfect children and a whole future to dream about and live.
I still look at him and feel like that 17 year old girl I was. I have changed so much and not just how I look but he still makes me feel young, excited and very much in love.
Perfect Day
11/08/07 19:37
I'm not enjoying my life just now. I'm leaving a home I adore and it's breaking my heart. I can't stop crying! I find myself staring at things around the house and garden and just start blubbing. My heart belongs here. Holding the dream up high in front is the only things that are keeping me from pulling out. Will I ever be able to drive past the house again? I still avoid the road that our first flat was in as it's too sad.
I'm not enjoying HE at all. Ok we've stopped for the summer with just the occasional verbal/non verbal reasoning but for a while now it just isn't lighting my fire. Boo wants to go to school and part of me wants them to go but I feel a failure for wanting it. FFS I've done 6 years why stop now? I'm sure it's just that I'm tired, my health isn't great, they are driving me nuts, Pea hates Shinies (our life line) due to one child really bullying her and no support given at all. I wonder about carrying on if we haven't even got that to lean on, she is refusing to go back which will make things difficult in September. I have some plans for possible group learning in September so hope to be able to carry them out and sort the issues out...couple more weeks to go.
Not being a great mummy. Well this can be sorted by getting to the GP and getting this coil removed. It's making my body think it's in the menopause and I can't do it any more. I'm short tempered and resentful. Enough said- must make sure I go next week and get the nice me and my body back!
Aside from all that floating around my head today has been really rather lovely. The kids had a much needed lay in (well about 8.30am). Buzz sorted his tip of a bedroom out and had a bath. He adores baths but showers most days. He filled the bath with toys and spent a blissful hour playing. I had a shower and lay on my bed listening to Mika. The girls watched crap on TV.By 10.30am all had breakfast and the girls set to work on their tips (bedrooms). Boo took an hour Pea two. We then all retired to the garden, sorted pets and laundry before the kids hit the pool and I found my rightful place on my sun lounger . Kids had a great time popping in and out of the pool and playing Monopoly. I read a whole book and tanned the whole front (nearly ) of my body. Buzz retired to watched Cars, the girls had a bath, Tony came home and I went to Waitrose. Yummy dinner for me and kids and Tony went to the gym with his brother. We are now watching Dance X
I'm not enjoying HE at all. Ok we've stopped for the summer with just the occasional verbal/non verbal reasoning but for a while now it just isn't lighting my fire. Boo wants to go to school and part of me wants them to go but I feel a failure for wanting it. FFS I've done 6 years why stop now? I'm sure it's just that I'm tired, my health isn't great, they are driving me nuts, Pea hates Shinies (our life line) due to one child really bullying her and no support given at all. I wonder about carrying on if we haven't even got that to lean on, she is refusing to go back which will make things difficult in September. I have some plans for possible group learning in September so hope to be able to carry them out and sort the issues out...couple more weeks to go.
Not being a great mummy. Well this can be sorted by getting to the GP and getting this coil removed. It's making my body think it's in the menopause and I can't do it any more. I'm short tempered and resentful. Enough said- must make sure I go next week and get the nice me and my body back!
Aside from all that floating around my head today has been really rather lovely. The kids had a much needed lay in (well about 8.30am). Buzz sorted his tip of a bedroom out and had a bath. He adores baths but showers most days. He filled the bath with toys and spent a blissful hour playing. I had a shower and lay on my bed listening to Mika. The girls watched crap on TV.By 10.30am all had breakfast and the girls set to work on their tips (bedrooms). Boo took an hour Pea two. We then all retired to the garden, sorted pets and laundry before the kids hit the pool and I found my rightful place on my sun lounger
. Kids had a great time popping in and out of the pool and playing Monopoly. I read a whole book and tanned the whole front (nearly ) of my body. Buzz retired to watched Cars, the girls had a bath, Tony came home and I went to Waitrose. Yummy dinner for me and kids and Tony went to the gym with his brother. We are now watching Dance XNew House
06/08/07 15:56
