before and this was much better! The kids preferred the Splash one Monday we drove up and then spent about 5 hours in the pools and on the slides. Even I joined in and really enjoyed myself. How great to have big kids and really get full pleasure from the day without having to really keep an eye on them.

We had a buffet dinner in the restaurant with singing and dancing staff Pea was stood on a chair and the whole restaurant sang to her. We then crossed to the nicer hotel for a cabaret evening. The girls stood on the balcony singing and dancing whilst we propped up the bar Bed by 10.30pm.

Tuesday- despite plans to be up and out for 8.30am we didn't wake up until then! So we had breakfast late and then as we were leaving I fell over and really really hurt myself. I lay on the floor screaming and sobbing as the room blurred and I tried not to throw up. Great. Tony helped me up and I tried to walk but the pain was unbearable. So he carried me and the onsite doctor came and checked me out. I just cried and said sorry over and over to the children who were wonderful and never moaned once. I was advised to go for an x ray but I declined as this would mean the children wouldn't have got to go in the park at all. They supplied me with drugs and I lay on the bed for about 45 mins. Tony and the girls loaded the car. I then hobbled to the park. By about 12pm the drugs were working fine, I was fuzzy headed but little pain. So I went on as many rides as possible! I adore theme parks and the children were also!

It was a cold day which didn't help when we got soaked on the water rides. Read that as *I* got soaked!!!!! The girls were really brave and went on most things. Gwenny stood by her word and went on

, even waiting through a technical hitch where we watched people hanging face down for 20 minutes. My stomach was churning so she was great to carry on. It was declared the best ride ever at the end My personal favourite was

Pea and Violet screamed the whole way round was added to my ride!

A great but tiring time was had by all. We staggered back tot he car and the girls all fell asleep. A long drive back to Reading, coffee and kid exchange before home.

My birthday was on Wednesday and despite me saying no gifts as Alton Towers had wiped us out, Tony didn't listen and I was spoilt I love my

I spent the day with the children and Tina. She did my hair and then we had an indian lunch which was yummy I spent the evening at home with Tony and a bottle or two. Saturday night I went out with the girls for dinner and ended up in a nightclub. Had a brilliant night dancing for about 3 hours.

Sunday- hungover so stayed in bed until lunch time. Summer had spent the night so they all played then we met up with Tina and Co plus extra friends and Sylvia (who was home on weekend release). Had a terrible start to lunch when they refused to add three more people to the booking saying they were stretching to fit us in anyway. I said fine we didn't need to eat. They then shouted at the kids for playing in the garden and making the pub dogs bark. We phoned our usual pub (across the road) and said could they fit us in, so we cancelled the booking and walked to the other pub. Stick to what you know.

Home and Pea found her GP Daisy (a boy!) distressed and with what appeared to be a foot coming out of it's bottom. I can't do pets with things like this. Humans fine but not animals. So took him to the emergency vet. £47 wank to relieve the stuck willy. I felt like a fool but it needed to be done as it wouldn't go back on it's own and he couldn't poo etc etc. Seems he and Yoda (a boy) have been getting frisky together.

The kids spent some time playing with our new neighbours, two boys 11 and 8 and a girl of 5. Lovely for them to have kids next door as they have never had that. I like the kids but liked being alone here.

I made a roast and we enjoyed a family meal which hasn't happened much this week and it's one of my little things that *has* to happen.

This morning we have viewed a

Tags: family, friends, fun

I'm not enjoying my life just now. I'm leaving a home I adore and it's breaking my heart. I can't stop crying! I find myself staring at things around the house and garden and just start blubbing. My heart belongs here. Holding the dream up high in front is the only things that are keeping me from pulling out. Will I ever be able to drive past the house again? I still avoid the road that our first flat was in as it's too sad.

I'm not enjoying HE at all. Ok we've stopped for the summer with just the occasional verbal/non verbal reasoning but for a while now it just isn't lighting my fire. Boo wants to go to school and part of me wants them to go but I feel a failure for wanting it. FFS I've done 6 years why stop now? I'm sure it's just that I'm tired, my health isn't great, they are driving me nuts, Pea hates Shinies (our life line) due to one child really bullying her and no support given at all. I wonder about carrying on if we haven't even got that to lean on, she is refusing to go back which will make things difficult in September. I have some plans for possible group learning in September so hope to be able to carry them out and sort the issues out...couple more weeks to go.

Not being a great mummy. Well this can be sorted by getting to the GP and getting this coil removed. It's making my body think it's in the menopause and I can't do it any more. I'm short tempered and resentful. Enough said- must make sure I go next week and get the nice me and my body back!

Aside from all that floating around my head today has been really rather lovely. The kids had a much needed lay in (well about 8.30am). Buzz sorted his tip of a bedroom out and had a bath. He adores baths but showers most days. He filled the bath with toys and spent a blissful hour playing. I had a shower and lay on my bed listening to Mika. The girls watched crap on TV.By 10.30am all had breakfast and the girls set to work on their tips (bedrooms). Boo took an hour Pea two. We then all retired to the garden, sorted pets and laundry before the kids hit the pool and I found my rightful place on my sun lounger . Kids had a great time popping in and out of the pool and playing Monopoly. I read a whole book and tanned the whole front (nearly ) of my body. Buzz retired to watched Cars, the girls had a bath, Tony came home and I went to Waitrose. Yummy dinner for me and kids and Tony went to the gym with his brother. We are now watching Dance X

Tags: screamteam, play, kids, garden, thinking

Tony doesn't normally get two days off work together, he doesn't always get two days of at all! This week he had Thursday and Friday off work.

Wednesday night we had Summer and Luke sleep over. I think the big girls finally went to sleep at some point in the early hours. Thursday morning Tony and I had a mini lay in- about 8am He got up and went out to mow the lawn for the last time and I made a start on tidying the tip that had become our home having lost interest in housework the past couple of months with moving etc. Anyway I'd finally had enough. I packed away the bed in the spare room and moved lots of packed boxes into there thus clearing space in bedrooms and landing. I dusted and cleaned shelves, woodwork mirrors and floors. Laundry was put away and Tony removed the huge pile of books and linen from the bathroom floor. It had been there for over a week and I'd meant to Freecycle it but it hadn't happened. It went to the charity shop. By the time I came downstairs to do much the same all children were awake and up though the two big girls stayed in bed playing. The little ones had breakfast and Wii played.

By 2pm they were all finally dressed and we left to go view the rental house Tony had paid the deposit on the day before. It's horrible. Totally not us but that's the fun of renting isn't it It's very cleaned and well maintained though stuck in the 80's. We can do what we like with it as it's going to be knocked down to have two new houses or something built on the plot. I'm going to paint our bedroom as the colour of the walls in there mixed with the pattern on the paper sent my eyes mental. The rest can stay as it is.

The children love it. They picked their rooms and ran around the garden with Summer and Luke playing stuck in the mud. The house is in the middle of the plot so you can run right around it. It's on a quiet estate with a footpath right outside the front gate so they can finally have the freedom of going out on their bikes and there appears to be some kids next door. I'm actually quite looking forward to living a different life for a bit. We'll be able to save a fair amount by living there for 6 months also which is good news.

We left there and took the children to the beach.



The children went straight in the sea with Tony. Boo simply adores swimming in the sea. Tina joined us when she had finished work and tried to pursuade Bailey their 8 month old labrador into the sea.



She ended up going in with him fully clothed! He adored it. Kessie as usual sat and watched form a safe distance. She is so refined LOL!

Chips and fizz for tea and we left. This time Tina took the girls for a sleepover at hers. Buzz sobbed his heart out on the way home. We promised him the world in return for his sadness then Darren phoned to tell me to bring him over as it wasn't fair. Home first to collect our gym stuff and we dropped him over there much to the disgust of the girls.

Tony and I went to the gym. I had to leave my spin class after only 10 minutes with the pain in my hip. I'm really struggling with my body pains atm which isn't helping with the increasing weight I'm gaining- another 3lb. Why do my joints hurt so much?

So I went into the main gym and did some upper body work and then used the cross trainer as this is kinder on my joints than the bike. The steam room was bliss- they've finally made it proper hot and steamy.

Left there realising I'd left my shoes at home. Trainers and jeans are so not my style. Popped into Sainsbury's for some shoes but they only had those stupid ubber flat things which are horrid. So we bought a kitchen magazine LOL! and went to a different pub where I wasn't concerned too much about my footwear. It was a jam night so that was quiet enjoyable. No alcohol. We then went to get a quick dish form the chinese as we were starving having not eaten at the beach.

We ordered a soup to start and couldn't understand why the waiter was pushing for us to order more. browsing the menu for mains I realised there were no prices. Close inspection revealed it to be a eat as much as you like place. So we ordered a couple more dishes but still very little according to the waiter. The restaurant was very busy but about half way through our meal it suddenly went dead quiet. On the table next to us were three teenage girls, one of them said VERY loudly, 'look Janine, I bet you a million quid I need sex more than you do right now'. PMSL! She nearly died and tried to make amends by saying 'I didn't mean me I was talking about what a friend had said'. That made it so much better did it? It was hilarious. Then the dad of one of them turned up outside to take her home. She was supposed to be staying at her friends over night and had obviously consumed lots of wine. She was mortified and worried but gave in and went home. They paid for their meal in nothing but lose change.

Just as we were finishing out meal a mobile went off. Table at the far end, 5 middle aged women having a night out. Husband on the phone. Cue friends telling her to tell him to get a life and leave her alone. Her face as two minutes later when he walked in the restaurant. he thought she'd be pleased to see him. She told him to go away. He went with his tail between his legs. She was furious. I'd be furious if my husband turned up to see me on a girls night out FFS! Caused much slagging off and fueled chat for the five of them though! I'd imagine his ears are still ringing from the grief she gave him on her return.

We went home- we shall return!

I fell into bed and was asleep within seconds

I love waking up to no children, the silence and stillness of the house really starts my day off well. Sorted pets and laundry, went to drop contract for house to solicitors and then bought picnic stuff, collected Tracy and went to Tina's. Hugs from the kids, I love their confidence at sleeping over, they hug and kiss me a normal good morning then simply carry on their play. We'd given Luke some Hornby trains and track a customer had given Buzz a few years ago. Buzz isn't into trains at all. Luke is MAD about them. The lounge was full of track and little farms. Lovely to see it in use rather than gathering dust.

I made up lunch for everyone and we hit the road. Back to Bedgebury Pinetum!



We decided to make use of Tony being off and send him up the trees with the girls. It was really high 40-50 feet and it took over three hours to complete, £25 for Tony and £20 for each of the girls. Worth every penny! Tony hated it, he was terrified.



Actually most adults going around were terrified and there were many upset kids who wanted to continue but their parents had quit so they couldn't. Tony bless him, stuck it out! Summer adored it, she stopped to pose for the camera all the time and was completely happy. Pea was wobbly. On some she was as Summer on others a little nervous, on one she was really scared which reduced Tina to tears as she counted her steps to the end for her.

I am so proud of all them for doing it. Poor Pea fell over right at the end as she ran to have her photo taken by the finish sign.





She'd only just healed that knee from falling at the beach! Her limbs don't work properly atm.

We left as they were locking the car park up! We were getting cold and were starving so had some scraps left over from lunch. Dropped Summer home as she was in our car, home for beans on toast for the kids before they fell filthy dirty into bed. I Flickred and then bed.

Tags: woods, adventure, kids, screamteam, friends, kids

. A popped to Waitrose for picnic stuff whilst the children got dressed and ready to go. Tina came round with kids and dog and we all hit the road. It's only about 40 minutes from home.

We an amazing place! The dogs and kids ran off into the woods upon arrival and didn't really stop for over 5 hours. We walked to the kids play area where we sat and ate lunch, the children wandered here and there popping back very occasionally for water, Tina and I chatted. Tony rang to say he'd viewed a rent house for us and paid the deposit.

I spent much of the day listening to loony parents talk to their children. One kid got told off for getting sand in his new trainers, another for sitting on a bench for a rest when they had paid the grand total of 6 quid to get in. Fuckwits.



My kids had a ball, they played in the woods, climbed trees and walls. They dug in sand and played make believe on the pirate ship. They hung upside down on a spiders web and gazed in wonder at people zip wiring and rope walking through the trees above their heads. They talked to strangers and smiled and laughed throughout the day.



I laughed and talked, got teased and at one point nearly died as Tina said there was a man behind me as I was weeing in the bushes- cow!

We drove home after ice cream from the very nice man in the van

Tina left but as seems par for the course I kept her kids Tony came home and soon left again for the gym. the boys played on the Wii and the girls played in the garden and sorted out the pets. Dinner of chicken and noodles followed by yet more play.

Convincing Luke to get into his PJ's at 9.30pm resulted in a cool jump on the bed and pillow fight with all of us getting thrashed. I do like to get the kids hyped up at bed time!


The boys were flat out within 10 minutes and the girls watched a DVD. I sobbed my eyes out watching the programme on ITV about

Tags: fuckwits, woods, friends, play, screamteam, Wii, techie troubles, kids

for the day with some friends. A fantastic day was had by all. The sun shone (eventually), the kids were happy and I chatted



I even snogged Wallace!

Tags: friends, screamteam, play, adventure, zoo, kids

As yet it still seems like a long way off until it becomes ours and we are looking for a house to rent. But one day this will be our home.

Tags: house, dreams, moving