plans
Well it's half way gone
12/02/08 22:08
I have been thinking about posting since the start of Feb- I'm crap I know.
Life has this bad habit of running away with me, I rush here there and never end up where I want to. I could promise to try harder and I will but come 11pm, I have a marriage and blogging isn't at the forefront of my mind. Time before then is sparse. So I'll try really I will.
Today has not been the best. Boo is so highly strung about the festival that starts on Saturday she's making us all walk on eggshells. I'm almost as bad over the sodding tutu and worrying for her that she won't get placed. I think I need to work on my stage school mom persona. The whole thing is costing me a fortune and now we are searching for drama classes and flippin' agents! How did I end up so middle class?
The other two are fending for themselves in the wilderness of life. The are having their own lessons but their passions are contained and satisfied with an hour of tuition here and a set of reeds there.
Amidst all this drama (pardon the pun) I have made a promise to up the education side of life. I have planned the year month by month with targets to be met each month. Mostly low key but having it pinned to the notice board (including trips) is keeping us all on on our individual tracks. I'm happy as I feel they are doing something (I'm old school and need paper proof), Boo is happy as she has a timetable, the others are happy as they are rubbish as self guidance! This month is China (well a tiny tiny bit of it).
On Sunday we went to London to the Chinese New year Celebrations. I'm soooooooo naive , there was I thinking a few hundred people would turn up when actually a few million people did! We saw so little! Lots of fat arses and stupid stupid women moaning about the lack of organising for people with pushchairs. F***wits. I so hate new middle class mums.
Anyhows, Boo cried most of the day. I wanted to run away and join a convent (one of those where they don't speak or see anyone or whatever). It's got better around 4pm. Food and toy shops helped, though not buying anything did NOT help. We headed home around 8pm and they fell asleep, thank goodness. I've promised Boo not to drink any alcohol until she says so so, so I went to bed and didn't sleep as Buzz came to join us and Tony snored all night.
So that was so much fun!
The highlight of life just now is that Boo has a friend. A real friend, made all by herself, nothing to do with me, or Pea or anything. A friend for her, she lives around the corner and she is wonderful. Her family is wonderful and I am so happy about it all I could sing for the rooftops. This is the first time this has happened. It's special.
Buzz now needs the same. It started and someone stepped on his toes.
HE feels like it is going through one of those changes it does every now and then, just like life. The older ones are thriving on work at home and freedom outside, they love going to Shinies again and have some really cool friendships going on. I love what is happening there just now and is really covering my worrying about the freedom school would offer. They talk to me. Pea talks to me (she has her first crush!!!!! shh) and is happy. I hope it continues as it is- I want them to talk to me and I want them to have their own time.They already don't get the parents who are with their child all the time. By guiding (very limited as it's important it's from them!) them at this age I can feel them taking control. Okay I know it may change but we're in the moment, the only place to be, with a raised eyebrow to the future (because I'm human, a mum and a natural worrier).
So far this year I haven't desired to be pregnant or to want a baby. This is a huge step. My cousin whom I saw at the funeral is fostering a wonderful little girl (they have two boys of their own). This has moved my feeling on to where I think they should be. Happy with what I have got and the need to help others. Who knows when or if this will happen but I'm happy to be where I am with it all.
I would really like to do daily (or most likely weekly) updates so that's where I leave and hope to continue.
So this is now out of date, our server wouldn't recognise itself (or summat). Reading it back I sound sad. I'm not I'm just mindful and placing areas of my life.
Life has this bad habit of running away with me, I rush here there and never end up where I want to. I could promise to try harder and I will but come 11pm, I have a marriage and blogging isn't at the forefront of my mind. Time before then is sparse. So I'll try really I will.
Today has not been the best. Boo is so highly strung about the festival that starts on Saturday she's making us all walk on eggshells. I'm almost as bad over the sodding tutu and worrying for her that she won't get placed. I think I need to work on my stage school mom persona. The whole thing is costing me a fortune and now we are searching for drama classes and flippin' agents! How did I end up so middle class?
The other two are fending for themselves in the wilderness of life. The are having their own lessons but their passions are contained and satisfied with an hour of tuition here and a set of reeds there.
Amidst all this drama (pardon the pun) I have made a promise to up the education side of life. I have planned the year month by month with targets to be met each month. Mostly low key but having it pinned to the notice board (including trips) is keeping us all on on our individual tracks. I'm happy as I feel they are doing something (I'm old school and need paper proof), Boo is happy as she has a timetable, the others are happy as they are rubbish as self guidance! This month is China (well a tiny tiny bit of it).
On Sunday we went to London to the Chinese New year Celebrations. I'm soooooooo naive , there was I thinking a few hundred people would turn up when actually a few million people did! We saw so little! Lots of fat arses and stupid stupid women moaning about the lack of organising for people with pushchairs. F***wits. I so hate new middle class mums.
Anyhows, Boo cried most of the day. I wanted to run away and join a convent (one of those where they don't speak or see anyone or whatever). It's got better around 4pm. Food and toy shops helped, though not buying anything did NOT help. We headed home around 8pm and they fell asleep, thank goodness. I've promised Boo not to drink any alcohol until she says so so, so I went to bed and didn't sleep as Buzz came to join us and Tony snored all night.
So that was so much fun!
The highlight of life just now is that Boo has a friend. A real friend, made all by herself, nothing to do with me, or Pea or anything. A friend for her, she lives around the corner and she is wonderful. Her family is wonderful and I am so happy about it all I could sing for the rooftops. This is the first time this has happened. It's special.
Buzz now needs the same. It started and someone stepped on his toes.
HE feels like it is going through one of those changes it does every now and then, just like life. The older ones are thriving on work at home and freedom outside, they love going to Shinies again and have some really cool friendships going on. I love what is happening there just now and is really covering my worrying about the freedom school would offer. They talk to me. Pea talks to me (she has her first crush!!!!! shh) and is happy. I hope it continues as it is- I want them to talk to me and I want them to have their own time.They already don't get the parents who are with their child all the time. By guiding (very limited as it's important it's from them!) them at this age I can feel them taking control. Okay I know it may change but we're in the moment, the only place to be, with a raised eyebrow to the future (because I'm human, a mum and a natural worrier).
So far this year I haven't desired to be pregnant or to want a baby. This is a huge step. My cousin whom I saw at the funeral is fostering a wonderful little girl (they have two boys of their own). This has moved my feeling on to where I think they should be. Happy with what I have got and the need to help others. Who knows when or if this will happen but I'm happy to be where I am with it all.
I would really like to do daily (or most likely weekly) updates so that's where I leave and hope to continue.
So this is now out of date, our server wouldn't recognise itself (or summat). Reading it back I sound sad. I'm not I'm just mindful and placing areas of my life.
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